There Is No Going Back Once I Hop The Fence

Google+ is to thank for this blog post.  Every morning as I ride the bus from Louisville to Denver, I play on my phone.  I may post a new photo on Instagram, cheer on my FitiBit friends, check my horoscope, or even listen to music.  I rarely visit Facebook anymore nor will I check email.  I do sometimes scroll through Google+ posts since these tend to be positive and can lead to a good start for my day.

Today's Instagram post showing my Backyard Dinner

This morning was a Google+ day on the bus and one post nailed it.  What a way to start a Friday!  The post was simple - just a .jpg with words.  The words read:

Three Simple Rules In Life

1. If you do no go after what you want, you'll never have it.
2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

It seems that everything this week is pushing me to do something (and I know what that something is).  Since yesterday's horoscope also alluded to a change (I can't believe I am putting stock into horoscopes...), I had to check today's horoscope.  Guess what - another push towards making a change in my life.  You can read yesterday's horoscope here and today's in the photo below.

Can Horoscopes Really Help?

I haven't been excited for the Center for Snake Conservation like I am today in a very long time.  My goals and aspiration to push forward with my non-profit have been stagnant.  My feet have been stuck in deep muck with a foul sulfur stench oozing up through the water for months.  Since I like the smell of muck, I stopped trying to move forward.  I have been wallowing in my own shit.  It is time to hop the fence to see if the muck on the other side smells even better.

THERE IS NO GOING BACK ONCE I HOP THE FENCE

Hopping the fence means huge changes for me.  It means that I am going to have to turn my back on an excellent and well-paying job.  It means I have to embrace my weaknesses and force myself to organize, plan, and attack my goals of success.  It means I can no longer wallow in my shit when a small setback occurs or I start to feel failure setting in.  These feelings will push me harder than ever towards success.  There is no going back to the life I am currently living.

The positives far outweigh the negatives in this decision to make the Center for Snake Conservation my focus 100% of the time.  I will be doing what I was born to do.  I will be happy and that alone will make all the difference in my life.

Me with two very special snakes from the southeastern United States

Horoscope - 26 June 2014

I read two different horoscopes today - both are telling me similar things.  Change is in the air for me - now I need to tackle it with grace and dignity.

Let's throw in two shadow selfies for the fun of it.  Shadows are like snowflakes - they are never the same and everyone can tell you something different.

     

3 Selfies

There is a stigma about taking and posting "selfies" but you know what, I really don't give a shit about that stigma.  My selfies help me document my days and life.  If people don't like them, well then, they should ignore them.  I post my selfies in my blog here and on my Instagram page.  I avoid posting selfies on Facebook (or anything else anymore really) because Facebook has turned into a negative world for me.  Sure, I would get lots and lots of positive comments but there is always at least one jackass that makes a smartass comment on everyone's posts and comments.  This just ruins it for me.  We should all be celebrating our lives - not tearing down someone else's.

I actually don't like my selfies.  I think I take horrible photos and that the camera really does add 10 lbs just to my face alone.  If someone else has a camera, I avoid being in the photos as much as possible.  Even so, I still take selfies.  My selfies are for me to capture my mood in a photo but they are also something I use to explore my creativity.

Examples:  I just took the 3 selfies below this morning.  The first one was taken at the bus stop in Denver where I catch the bus to Cherry Creek for my brain appointment.  The second selfie was taken on the bus and the third was taken at Cherry Creek when running back to the office.  

Cab Reflections

On the Bus

I run in amazing places

Now look at my face.  The first selfie shows a person that is disinterested and potentially unhappy. The second selfie (modified using an Instagram filter) shows someone with the potential to smile and engage with others in a positive way. The third selfie is of someone outside, exercising, and happy.

Selfies are fun.  Selfies are personal.  Selfies are creative.  Selfies are informative. So...

GO TAKE A SELFIE NOW!

Horoscope - 24 June 2014

Find center, strategize, and things will come. 

Chalk Graffiti - What Defines Us

As you know, I carry a camera everywhere I go - sometimes it is just my iPhone camera but it is an excellent little camera for documenting what I see and experience.  Yesterday, I went for a quick 2.5 mile lunch walk to make sure I got out and enjoyed at least some of the beautiful day.  The walk wasn't the greatest but I did see some chalk graffiti that I had to take a picture of - someone had written a statement that definitely warrants some thought.  

"What Defines Us Is How Well We Rise After Falling"

I have been trying to define myself through the eyes of others.  This is an impossible task and should never be attempted.  There is absolutely no way of knowing exactly what others want of us.  We cannot guess what they are thinking about us.  We cannot trust that they will tell us the absolute truth about what they think of us (who cares anyway?).  No - there is no way to define yourself through the eyes of others.

So how then do I define myself?  I have a screwed up and skewed view of who I should be because I have spent so much of my life worrying about what others think about me.  I live in fear that I am upsetting those around me because I cannot meet their expectations.  This fear has kept me from taking chances and risks for success.  This fear has led me to create an expectation of failure so that when I have a small success or don't fail as bad - I can look good in the eyes of others.  WTF - that is like getting a box full of rotten bananas in the mail - just wrong and gross.

The chalk graffiti I photographed yesterday offers another way to define myself.  I have fallen and I am finally beginning to understand my fall.  What I haven't found yet is when, where, and how to rise.  This may be where I look to find the true Cameron that no longer hides behind a veil of failure and insecurity.  My rise will define who I become; who I am.  My therapy will continue to help me create a new definition for Cameron.

Rotten Days Happen

No one is immune to bad days - it is how we respond that shows our character.  You mus be willing to let them go and move on...

Can you do this?

Lottery Fail

I don't know why people buy lottery tickets - they must have better luck than I do.