Video Blog (Vlog) - 23 January 2015 - Stress Burger

I know I post these things up on YouTube but some of you may not subscribe to my channel yet (you better be subscribed now!).  Just a quick and dirty look at my stress eating habit.  Watch below but don't forget to upgrade the quality to 1080HD!

A Morning With A Python

Sheesh!  I haven't posted in three weeks!!!  I wonder what is going on with me that I haven't been Snakespired to write in my blog??  I don't know but it is unacceptable.

First - let me give you two links to my YouTube channel.  The first is a link to all my Snakespiration videos - if you haven't watched these, well, I will just assume you have a good excuse (you better).  Snakespiration is a random video series in which I pick a topic about snakes and talk about it for 5-8 minutes.  Short and sweet so go WATCH!  SNAKESPIRATION!

SNAKESPIRATION!

The second link is to The Snake Show - A Lunch and Learn Adventure.  The Snake Show is recorded "live" and I hope to start having guests on it soon to talk about conservation efforts and of course, SNAKES!  Each episode is 30 minutes long but I may have to extend these to an hour once guests start joining me.  I am just two episodes into the adventure but it has already been a huge success for me. THE SNAKE SHOW!

Admiral Ackbar watches The Snake Show

Okay - now that I am done plugging my YouTube channel (SUBSCRIBE PLEASE!), it is time to get into the meat of this blog post.

A Morning With A Python

If you follow me anywhere (here, Facebook, Google+, YouTube, Instagram, etc.), you already know that snakes are a huge part of my life.  I have a passion for these amazing animals that defines my life.  I love talking about snakes and listening to your snake stories (and rolling my eyes secretly).  I love looking for snakes and find myself happiest when I am in the woods by myself looking for snakes.  It may sound strange but it is who I am.  Give me 5-8 minutes of your time and I will bet I can Snakespire you too.

Screen capture from The Snake Show

This past weekend I did a special episode of The Snake Show since I had been travelling for work on Tuesday.  I chose a ball python to hang out and be a guest on the show but we didn't stop there.  The little python then hung out with my family for the rest of the morning enjoying the company of humans and dogs alike.   Here is a series of photos from the morning:

Chilling with my niece by the fire

Chilling at the table having a conversation with my sister-in-law

Participating in vacation planning with my brother and wife

Chilling with the Big Dog

Enjoying the sun on the windowsill

I am tired - I think I will rest behind this photo for a while

So why write a blog post about a morning with a python?  I don't know - it just felt right.  Snakes are so integral to my life and happiness that I thought I would share these photos to let you see the real me.  BAM!  There it is - that is what this post is about - sharing a little bit more of who I really am.

As I grow the Center for Snake Conservation, I am learning that it is important for me (even if you could care less) to give you a backstage pass into my life.  I want to connect with each one of you personally so that I can have an opportunity to share my passion with you.  I strongly believe that it is through personal relationships that we can create partnerships that will affect change in human perceptions about snakes.  I want you to see how emotionally involved I am with snakes.  I want you to see a snake and think about me and the Center for Snake Conservation.  Sure, I can post photos and facts on Facebook for the rest of my life but does that really affect change?  I have been dong that for 4 years now and I know it is not as effective as it could be.  Seeing the photos I post on Facebook does create noise but it doesn't create change in a person's feelings about snakes.  You seeing me for who I am, seeing me interacting with snakes, after which you decide if you like me or not, and then following me - that affects change because now you are personally involved.  Gotcha!  

Seriously though - when we love/like something, we are more likely to invest in our personal time into it.

There is HUGE risk in this approach though.  Before you read anymore, close your eyes and think of a person that likes snakes - think about the stereotype.  Yep - I know what you are thinking which is why I HAVE to put myself out there.  I am not that stereotype and snakes deserve better than that!

But still, what if you don't like me?  What if you think I drink too much?  What if you think I cuss too much?  What if you think I like my legs too much (read this blog post for an example - Legs)?  These are all risks that I am willing to take.  

Snakes + Beer + Dogs + a few other things = ME

I want you to know who I really am.  Simply put - I am crazy about snakes.  Talking about snakes makes me happy.  I am not in this to make money (although it would be nice to have sponsors so I can do this full time).  I am passionate about snakes even with my flaws and it is my passion I believe I can share with you.  I excel at bringing snakes to groups and Snakespiring people.  This is my calling in life.  Snakes are not very high on most people's list of favorite animals but I know that this can change if I just put myself out there.  

I am going to give my passion everything I have - are you willing to give me a chance (5-8 minutes) to change your perception about snakes? 

Beer, Snakes, and Dogs - WTF?

WTF is right!  Beer, Snakes, and Dogs???  These are 3 things that should NEVER be mixed at the same time but they are also 3 of my favorite things.  Hmmmm - I guess this means trouble at my house.

The Showdown of beer, snakes, and dogs

Daydreams

I daydream.  I daydream a lot.  This is probably just a side effect of my ADD but my mind wanders and wanders and wanders and dreams about things I want, fear, like, desire, or just about anything else you can imagine.  That is it - I just imagine.  I imagine myself in so many different places other than the one I am in right now.  There is one daydream in particular that I need to make come true.  It is my snake dream.

What do you daydream about?

Daydreaming with a snake friend

Forgive Me, Forgive Me Not, Why Can't I Forgive Myself

I have always said that music finds a way to penetrate my soul and speak to me.  I think we all feel this way at times so I am probably preaching to the choir with this blog post.  But please let me ramble and talk to myself today - it has been a while since I REALLY wrote.

As I crossed the pedestrian bridge over HWY 36 at 6:23am this morning, I plugged in my headphones and searched for an iTunes radio channel to listen to.  My fingers quickly choose my "Unforgiven" channel which told me right away that the Universe needed to speak to me through music.  I NEVER choose anything quickly when it comes to music or movies but it took all of a full second to make my choice this morning.  Heather teases me when I spend 15 minutes trying to find the right movie to watch that will help me turn my brain off so I can fall asleep quickly.  I will admit to being very indecisive with movies and music which is why the Universe must have made the choice for me this morning.

The first song was actually crap so I just fast forwarded it.  The second song on this morning's playlist was a Nirvana song that went in one ear and out the other.  Then came Metallica - the reason I made this channel.  The song that played for me was The Unforgiven III - a song I had never heard before despite it being several years old.  Instantly the song spoke to me and speaks so true to my life RIGHT now!

The song describes a person that has a mission but keeps getting distracted and of course.  The person then cannot forgive themselves.  I am STRUGGLING with forgiving myself right now.  I keep allowing "resistance" and other distractions keep me from my life's goal and purpose - SNAKES.  I then BEAT the living shit out of myself and NEVER forgive myself for the things I meant to do.  This sucks but what else is new - music spoke to Cameron; Cameron can't forgive himself - big deal.  Well, it is a big deal and here is why.  In addition to the song, I saw the quote below on my Google+ feed (all I can say is my G+ friends are very similar to me - dirty minds and insightful quotes).  This quote is important to consider when trying to forgive yourself.

Read the quote again please.  We all do this to some extent.  We certainly act differently at home than we do at work.  What about with our friends?  Do they really know us?  I have written previously that the person I show outwardly is very different than the person I hide behind walls, fences, and sand dunes (yes - with the help of my therapist, I did soul guided and deep soul-searching and found sand dunes blocking my core).  Despite that, the quote above really spoke to me because I don't think I have been very good to myself lately.  I am doing Snakespiration which is the REAL me but I hide myself at work, home, and with my friends.  I am much more open and happy that I have ever been though so I know I have made HUGE progress in allowing myself out - I just need to do it more.  I want to find a way to bring that Snakespired Cameron to all facets of my life.

So back to the Unforgiven...

When I got to the office, I YouTubed (did you know that YouTube is the largest information transfer site on the internet?) Metallica and listened to The Unforgiven, The Unforgiven II, and The Unforgiven III.  I strongly encourage you to do the same so I embedded all the songs below just for you. 

Now - what did I learn?  I learned that I still do not forgive myself very easily.  I learned that I am MUCH better at controlling my mood and depression although yesterday did suck until I got home and did my daily Snakespiration episode.  I learned that these songs still ring true in my ears but that I can rationally listen to them and use them as a tool for moving forward.  In other words, I am no longer STUCK in the past.  I also learned that I am still hiding my true self from myself and others (this needs to change).

I am excited for the future but I still have a lot of work to learn how to make the future what I want it to be.  I still procrastinate.  I still hide.  I still allow anxiety into my life.  These things will probably never really go away but what I do know is the following:

• I am a better person
• I am nicer to myself
• I am a better husband
• I am a better father
• I am a better friend
• I can see a very bright future
• I have more confidence
• I feel happier

So - while I still change to meet people's expectations of me, I am doing amazing inside my mind and soul.  I am learning so much with my Snakespiration - now I need to learn to forgive myself so I can move forward into my very bright future.

Forgive Me, Forgive Me Not, Why Can't I forgive Myself?

The Unforgiven

The Unforgiven II

The Unforgiven III

Take It Easy

I know I said I was going to use the time stamp style of blogging.  Whatever - something hit me today and I need to get it out - NOW.

GoPro Bus Selfie with the Blue Light Special

As I was walking from the RTD Union Station to my office this morning (6:28am for you time stamp people), The Eagles started playing in my ears.  I really wasn't listening or even registering the music until after the first stanza.  Then it hit me...

"Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can

Don't even try to understand

Just find a place to make your stand

and take it easy."

The crazy thing is that I have been preaching this my whole life - take it easy.  The trouble is that I don't know how to follow my own advice.  I don't take it easy.  I get all uptight with my panties in a wad.  I pretend that I am "taking it easy" but in reality, I suck at it.  

I am a procrastinator - this is my attempt at "taking it easy" but in reality this just makes it harder on me and then I stress and kill myself with anxiety trying to catch up.  Procrastination is a very skewed way to think about taking it easy.  It doesn't work.

GoPro Bus Selfie Video when the bus driver turned on the lights.

I have started following some internet bloggers and they are really good at "taking it easy".  Well at least they make it appear that way.  These individuals make a living traveling the world and blogging.  They also freelance write when they need money but the important thing is that they are doing what they WANT to be doing.  They are not following anyone else's rules or template for success.  They are taking it easy with their own expectations of success - the key being that it is "their" expectations and not anyone else's.  I have always tried to meet someone else's expectation of me which is NOT taking it easy.

Okay back to the song - I want you to really listen to it.  Can you agree with the lyrics?  Pretend Don Henley is singing to himself and not to some scorned lovers and a new woman.  Now do you hear it?  Can you hear the sage advice being spoken?  It screams at me to slow down, take a close look at myself, forgive myself, and live my life taking it easy.  This doesn't mean lazy - it means a life full of compassion, forgiveness, and positive vibes everywhere.

TAKE IT EASY!

17 November 2014

2:33am - I can't sleep. Not even close. Anxiety for work slapped me hard and then dug its nails into me making sure I stayed awake. Fuck - this sucks. Why do I stay at a job that impacts me so negatively?  Oh yeah - the money. We need the money. Well this has better change real soon. I have been saying this for years now wondering when I will actually do something about it. Enough for now. I need to try and sleep.

5:59am - I just made the sprint to catch the HX bus into Denver. My hamstring screamed the whole way - damn I wish I hadn't pull it. I did finally fall back to sleep after my anxiety awakening. I was able to turn my anxiety into annoyance.  I cannot believe I let something like work interrupt my sleep. It took a long time (I remember seeing 4:00am on the clock) but I succeeded. So well in fact that Heather woke my up to tell me I needed to roll over - I must have been snoring.  The 5:13am alarm startled me but I was able to get out the door and catch the bus I needed to catch. Now I need to survive the day.

6:21am - still on the bus.  Decided to look up what "bae" means.  Turns out it means "poop" in Danish but people use it in social media to mean "baby".  I guess people are calling their loved ones shit.

Flies on Bae

7:11am - My "Transform My Life" app just changed.  It is a good assignment today:  "Today, as you dismiss the conditioning that 'insults your soul,' replace it with that which uplifts your soul."

7:24am - BREAKFAST at the office - enough said.

9:20am - I made a short video blog explaining my Monday Blues:

11:41am - I just finished lunch.  Not much of a lunch - a whole chicken breast. All I can think about is how I shouldn't be here.  Mondays are always bad.  Actually, my work anxiety starts on Sunday afternoon and normally dies Tuesday afternoon.  The time between is me fighting being here.  I resolve to finish out the week on Tuesdays for some reason.  I am working on my exit plan but it still sucks not being able to focus on snakes all day and being forced to think as a consultant for an industry lead by greed.  Photos like the one below make it all worth it though!  :)

1:38pm - I made a trip to the 7-Eleven for a quick afternoon snack.  I make this trek about once every 2 weeks and each time I get giddy with excitement.  The trouble is this feeling is followed by self-disgust and loathing after I eat those horrible Cheetos.  Tough shit - I put the crap in my body so I better learn enjoy the crappy feeling afterwards.

3:22pm - The dream machine is cranking away.  I have to move on and the sooner the better.  I have a project for the Center for Snake Conservation that has been churning in my brain for a while now (an actual facility) and it is time to bring this project to the crowds.  I will be working on building a crowd funding project this week to be released in time for the holiday giving season.  I need money to bring snakes to people.  I will make this happen.  Stay tuned for more on this but I just wanted to let you know that my brain is churning...BIG TIME.

7:47pm - watching Monday night football and brainstorming.  Almost time for sleep.  New day tomorrow.