Thursday, October 30, 2014

Tired - I Am So Tired Today

Last night was hell - sleeping wise at least.  I didn't sleep. Well that isn't entirely true - I did sleep just not very well.

Tired at the office
I fell asleep pretty fast after the last out of the World Series - there is something about baseball that puts me DIRECTLY to sleep.  I watched the game only because it was a big moment in 2014 - I didn't care who won or lost.

The last out in the 2014 World Series - Giants Win.
I slept until 3:00am - then hell happened.

At 3:03am I was awake.  I was stressed.  I was hating myself with every bit of my power.  I was dreading work the next day.  Why I do this I will never know but I am guessing it is the resistance in my body trying to keep me in the same place - afraid of change.

Chasing my dreams are for me - no more staying in the same place

I was in and out of sleep until 5:13 am when my alarm finally went off.  Yes, I set my alarm for strange times.  I just read about someone else doing this too - how cool is that!  My alarm on my iPad goes off daily at 5:13am and my alarm on my phone goes off at 6:16am just in case I am ignoring the iPad.  Don't ask me why but I have always set my alarm for strange times.

The only alarm on my phone at the moment.

I got out of bed at 5:33am and took a shower.  I got back into bed until 5:56am after my shower thinking that I could actually fall back asleep.  Oh well - I tried.

So - that was my night.  I spent it chasing sleep but never really finding it after 3 am.  

So I am tired today.  I am sure that some caffeine will try to make it better.  I am not going to be bitter about my night last night.  I am going to embrace my day and enjoy what is left of it.  My "Transform My Life" app pinged me at 7:10am tell me not to be angry today.  Since we do EVERYTHING that our phones tell us to do these days, I am going to have to be happy all day now.  

Just to add to this blog here are some photos from my day so far.

The bridge/tunnel of hell.  This takes me to work every fucking day.  WAIT!  I am not going to be angry...

I am beginning to resent my sunrises because they lead directly to misery at work.  I will try to see them for what they are though - BEAUTY!
Early morning view and reflections from my office taken with my GoPro


  1. LOVE the GoPro shot absolutely awesome shot =0), baseball I find boring maybe that's what put you to sleep. lol

    I haven't been sleeping well either and it's not anger but, it is stress I'm a worry wort I worry about little things, not stupid things just little things because I know little things can lead to big things and I am the kind of person who will avoid anything that will lead to anything big.

    Many moons ago I learned that the mind can work wonders on emotions and taught myself to revert some of my negative energy to positive it also helps having a bf that's stronger than I am as well.

    Stay strong and stay positive my friend! Hugs

  2. There was a Canadian study done that showed that positive affirmations only seem to help those with high self esteems. It's okay to be tired. You don't have to force yourself to be happy. It is okay though to be honest about what you are feeling. Honesty provides a vehicle for emotional detox.

    1. Can't help but, feel that was a cheap pot shot but, please quote me wrong you're more than welcome? =0)

  3. No it wasn't and you don't even know me. You also don't even know about my friendship with Cameron.