Monday, October 3, 2016

Where should I start today?

Where should I start today?  Since I am not really writing that much, I guess I can start anywhere and that will help.  I am still stuck at my dead end anti-conservation job.  I thought they were going to fire me last week but it was a false alarm.  Someone got upset that I put my home address on MY scientific collection permit in Texas.  I think they thought that I was preparing to leave and take the work with me – trouble is that if I leave here, I DO NOT want the work.  I am sick of working for the insanely rich and ignorant.  Or do I mean the rich and insanely ignorant?  I am tired of being a part of the global climate crisis rather than being a solution.  Regardless, I wasn’t fired last week.  Maybe I will be let go this week (if I am lucky).
I have been overwhelmed with life lately - so much so that I have been finding myself shutting down more and more for the littlest things.  Anything can trigger a shutdown these days.  I am trying to keep my perspective and see the big picture but the details do bother me.  A little too much right now – I wish I could just not care but that is not how I am built.  I was able to bring snakes to approximately 75 people on Saturday.  This is always so positive.

Me and a few snakes at the Coalton Trailhead on Saturday
I have also been doing well with getting active again.  Last week, I joined Jackson for a weight lifting session, ran once, and went for bike ride with my neighbor.  If I can keep this up, I know my energy levels will increase and I will want to do more and more.  Plus, if I don’t keep this up, Jackson will be stronger than me before I know it.  If he is anything like me as a teenager, he will get very strong in the next few months.  His motivation is a bit strange and has to do with a school benchmark - to be able to bench press his body weight before January.  If he can do that, he gets put into a P.E. group at school that doesn’t have to do much during class since they have already met the benchmark set for freshman.  I like his thought process – work hard now to be lazy later.  I think he has the right idea.

Bike ride selfie
Here is the summary of my life right now:
·         Grossly overwhelmed with even the little things
·         Trying to find perspective in my every day
·         Slowly gaining traction with finding my active lifestyle again
·         Still miserable at work
Definitely too many negatives but the positive is that I recognize that.  Moving onward and upward…

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