I don't make New Year Resolutions. I may have at some point in my life but they just set myself up for disappointment, self loathing, and ultimately depression so I just don't make them anymore. For years, I haven't viewed the new year with much optimism. My best new year in recent memory was probably January 1, 2017 when I submitted my resignation to my consulting job. I didn't even give two weeks notice - I just never went back to work (although I did email them and told them that).
So today, I have made several personal challenges to myself. I like finding things and so my challenges will be hard but not impossible and all involve finding things. I guess they are non-traditional resolutions (although number 1 is probably pretty traditional). Here they are:
Challenge Number 1 - I challenge myself to find ways for better health. This challenge doesn't have any measurable goals or even accountability tied to it but I have been brainstorming and dreaming of ways to find better health for myself. This includes both physical and mental health. I like to run. I want to lift weights again. I love to eat good food. I like to write. This challenge will give me opportunities for all of that in a nutshell (nuts are an approved food for my new caveman ideology - see below).
I went through hell in 2020 - Divorce, covid, business stress, stress for my children, and a lot of self loathing. So, how do I even combat that in 2021? I need to write more. Try to write daily. Write about my feelings. Write about what makes my body tingle. Write about what makes me smile. Write about what makes me cry. JUST WRITE. Simple without any consequences for not writing. I just want to write and see where it takes me. Maybe even write a steamy love novel (just kidding, or am I?). "Just write, Cameron" - that is my motto.
The second part of the better health challenge is my physical health. I got a huge jump on that in 2020 by breaking my relationship with sugar and alcohol and I lost almost 30lbs. I don't remember my heaviest weight in 2020 but it was near 225lbs. I weighed myself this morning after a really bad week of eating poorly (holiday sugar) and was 195.2lbs. I still have 20lbs that I want to lose and probably will lose that weight easily if I just stay away from sugar. I don't know if I will ever drink alcohol again mostly because I use it to numb myself and hide from reality. I don't want to live that way again even if my feelings are so much more intense without it. I don't need it and it makes me feel like shit. I recently learned that my body reacts really poorly to gluten - it makes my entire body ache and hurt (try not eating gluten for a month and then eat it again - you will find out how you react to it). So that is also an easy health choice for me in 2021 - just avoid gluten. The last part of this second part of Challenge 1 is to eat more foods that haven't been processed at all. We all talk about it - just shop the outside of the store and avoid the aisles. No processed foods. Eat like a caveman. If you can find it in the wild and eat it raw, it is okay to eat. If it has to go through a processing plant and get created by humans, don't eat it. My boys are board with more hunting and fishing to help me with this endeavor. We are going fishing today (hopefully but it is cold and we have to find open water as we aren't ready to take on ice fishing) and rabbit hunting next weekend. We want to see if we can harvest our own meat. This phase really won't be in place until next September when the big game seasons open but we can fish and go after rabbits for the time being to supplement what we can buy from a butcher.
So there is my challenge Number 1 - Better Personal Health.
Challenge Number 2 - I want to improve my photography and videography. I recently purchased new cameras and lenses. Professional ones. The ones from my Dream list. So my challenge to myself is to take photos of 365 different species of birds in 2021. This is an average of one a day and that sounds daunting but I have a trip planned to the Bahamas in May and this challenge will also force me out of my Colorado safety net. It will mean a few weekend road trips to see more things and this will naturally improve my mood. I also want to sell my photography and/or videography services so I will be starting a new business. I don't have a name yet and I don't even know how to do it but I am putting it out there. I think I want to focus on animals and could target people's pets as subjects but this will grow, evolve, and thrive as the year goes. It will be fun to just get out and take photos/videos and I can always use them in my own business even if I never sell a single photo (like this photo of a tegu). Plus taking photos/videos of 365 different species is an awesome challenge and so much fun. I will have enough photos to make a calendar for 2022 or who knows what else. It is getting out in nature, with my cameras, finding critters, and making myself happy. So much better than sitting on the couch worrying about my future and the future of my children and if they will be happy. So much better than anything else that I can think of right now. I will probably add to this challenge as the year progresses with maybe mammals, reptiles, fish, and amphibians (the other vertebrate classes) but birds will get me started.
That is it - two challenges. Both vague enough to go in any direction that feels good and both with enough structure to be a challenge. Both will make me happier and help me with discovering myself. I have been doing a lot of thinking about who I am and I don't know. I have ALWAYS outsourced approval of who I am, what I do, and where I go. These challenges will help me find self approval and to hell with everyone else's opinion unless I ask for it. These challenges are non-negotiable for others to comment on - they are what I want to do.
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