I am working HARD to take action to make sure I find and stay happiness/happy. This means shoving the negative thoughts that surface constantly back into the ground where they belong. This may sound like an easy task but it really isn't - at least not for me. Actually, it may just be one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do in my life and I suck at it (wait a second - I was just negative towards myself again - see what I mean, it is hard!).
|Leg selfie taken at the bus stop this morning to combat my self-pity negative bullshit.|
I am learning some very cool things about myself in this process and tricks to stay positive. My most successful technique is for me to get out of my head and do something creative. This isn't always easy to do but it is possible. My phone and other electronic toys are gets tools for creativity. Here are several examples from today (Remember to watch all videos in HD - you have to change the resolution yourself in YouTube for some reason):
1) Missed bus - back in August, they tweaked the bus schedules to account for traffic, passenger load, or maybe something else they consider when scheduling. Well, this really sucks for me on Wednesdays because I am a on crossing guard duty at the school until 8:05am. You can learn more about crossing guard in this old blog post: Crossing Guard. The new bus departure time is 8:13am so I miss it and have to wait another 24 minutes for the next bus. I was feeling sorry for myself this morning because of this crap that is completely out of my control until I saw a pill bug (rolypoly or wood louse) streaking across the sidewalk. I quickly got down on my hands and kneed at the bus stop to film his race against the sun. I was happy.
2) Crappy meeting - I had a large project meeting today during which I felt a little lost. This is a large project and so I should not expect to be included on all the little phases considering for once I am just the senior biological review person (normally I get saddled with a whole shitload of boring stuff I hate doing). I left the meeting feeling pretty low. When I get depressed, I eat. I eat a lot. I found myself in a zombie run to Subway where I got a foot long sandwich to stuff myself with. Instead of wallowing in my crap, I found a way to smile as I ate the sub. I videoed the whole meal then processed it at 8 time normal speed. It was fun and just plain silly but it completely changed my mood.
3) This blog post - enough said.
So - I guess I am learning. I am finding a very positive counterattack to my self-negativity and loathing. I have always been creative but I have suppressed it in fear of judgement. I think all creative people deal with this fear every day. It is those that break through the resistance that are happy. I am crushing the resistance. :) Yes - I have been reading too.
|Suggested reading for all Artists no matter what your art is...|