A lot has been going on for me lately. Things are changing rapidly. I don't understand a lot of the changes. I don't understand reasoning anymore. I don't feel like I am on the same page with anyone. I am letting people down. People are angry with me. I am failing as a father and friend. I am failing in life right now.
I have found myself pulling my emotions back into my vault. This is to protect me from hurt. The trouble is that at the same time my self-loathing is rearing its nasty head and I am attacking myself. I am blaming myself for everything - even things completely unrelated to me and out of my control. I am relentless. I am mean. I am just plain awful to myself.
Photos were rapidly becoming an outlet for self-love. I had been taking a lot of selfies to remind myself of who I am and what as I doing. These were also keeping me focused on the present and future - not my scary and nasty past.
I do not want to go back to where I was - my past is something I hope to leave behind. My past haunts me and I need it to go away. I need to find my passion for running and snakes again. I must find my self-love. I must start taking photos again.
The last photos I took before I completely lost my photo inspiration.
|Boomerang - throw it and hope it comes back|
|Big and little dog napping|
|Big dog rough housing with the boys|