Saturday, December 21, 2013

What is really underneath all that snow?

There is a chore at my house that if not done daily quickly becomes a chore of epic proportions.  This chore is picking up the dog shit.  I have talked about this chore before in Ordinary Average Guy but my self-discovery has brought a new meaning to dog shit.  Actually, I cannot take full credit for this blog post but I will get to that in a little bit.

Just over two weeks ago, we got some snow.  Typically on the eastern plains of Colorado (Denver is not in the mountains as is commonly misunderstood) this isn't a big deal.  It snows, the sun comes out, it warms up, and the snow is gone in 2-3 days.  This last snow came during a bitter cold snap of 4-5 days of negative temperatures and little sun.  The snow was here to stay awhile.

So what does snow have to do with dog poop?  This is where I have to give credit for this blog to Homer Simpson.  While I had already taken the photos I will share, I did not know what I was going to do with them.  Then last week, while watching NFL football on FOX, I heard a trailer for the Simpsons coming on that night.  Homer was dancing around in his usual way and exclaimed "Waahoo!  It is snowing so now I don't have to pick up the dog poop!".  This episode of the Simpsons is still too new for me to find and capture a few clips to add to my blog.  Maybe I can add them later.

Why was Homer so excited?  Shit, I just noticed that I ask a lot of questions in my blog.  I guess this is how I think - I am always asking the who, what, where, how, why, when questions in my grasp to understand my world.  Constant curiosity that gets me in a LOT of trouble sometimes.  It can also really turn others off when I just don't leave them alone when they clearly need space to breath.  I know I can be overbearing but remember, I am trying to figure out who I am so I have to ask a lot of questions about who you are and what you are doing.  

Back to Homer's excitement - Homer was pumped because snow completely covers the shit in your yard.  It takes a yard full of shit and turns it into a crisp "clean" white landscape.  The trouble is that the shit is still there.

What does the snow really hide?
This is a great metaphor for how I have been living.  I have for my entire life, lived burying my shit under a false arrogance (see Social Fear) and big smile.  However, the shit is still there and can emerge once the snow starts melting (see Blood for the Gods).

The snow is starting to melt
There is only one solution to this shit filled hot mess - get your hands dirty and deal with the shit as it happens.  Yes, follow your dogs around with a pooper scooper and clean up your yard as the shit happens.  If you are brave enough, catch the shit before it even hits the grass.

I am a chronic procrastinator - catching shit is just not in my nature and neither is picking it up daily.  The photos in this blog post prove that I let the snow cover my shit hiding it from everyone until it is too late.  I promise - the snow always melts to expose your shit and then everyone sees it.

The snow is melting revealing lots of shit I did not know was there

I am dealing with melting snow right now in my life.  Things are changing quickly.  I regressed for a few weeks after Thanksgiving but I am again looking towards the future.  I think that actually admitting my regression in Sadness yesterday helped me realize that the snow is melting again.  

There are many new things that I want in my life - unfortunately I cannot fully have them until I completely deal with the old things that still haunt me.  Does this mean that I cannot commit to the new things?  Absolutely not!  Does this mean I cannot experience the new things in my life?  I sure as hell hope not.  I want to experience the new things, live the new things, have the new things, love the new things, and be the new things as I deal with and close the book on the old things.  

In search of the new things before the snow melts
Some of you may disagree with this approach and argue that in order to fully enjoy the new things in life, I must first completely move on from the things I have buried so long.  I reiterate - ABSOLUTELY NOT!  The new things give me the strength and happiness to help me deal with my demons.  Without the new things, the old things that I am dragging from the depths of my brain will dominate my psyche pulling me back into my old habits and depression.  This is not the route I am taking this time around.  I will fight for the new things at the same time I leave the old things behind.  I am tired of waiting and procrastinating the things that make me happy.

Do you need examples of the new things and the old things?  If you want examples, please stick around and watch the snow melt.  There are giant piles of shit for me to clean up but there is also bright green grass growing next to the poop giving me the happiness to pick up more shit even faster.  I can't wait to see how tall and green the grass grows - it has been fertilized and buried for a very long time.

Giant pile of shit that has been buried by the snow of my mind

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